Amazing opportunity, cellar hand wanted

Want a job working for an up-and-coming winery located somewhere in France? Hannah Fuellenkemper has the most amazing opportunity for you.... possibly.

Two years ago I wrote you never make wine alone, every year I swear I won’t and yet three years in I still do. Things will be different in 2022. I’m hiring a cellar hand, effective immediately.

Your official title will be assistant du cave because you will work in France, although at the moment I can’t tell you where as I’ve changed location every year. I will, however, go as far as to promise that any moves will happen before harvest starts, unlike this year.

At the bare minimum you will speak better French than I do. It would be good if you had prior winemaking experience. Even better if you are handsome, single and own a domaine.

Here are the definitions of some basic tasks you’ll do: ‘cleaning the press’ means picking grape bits out of the cracks with a knife, elbow grease, a brush. Decuvage means holding your breath (Co2!) while trying not to put out your back.

Ideal candidates will be zen masters. There are no definites during harvest, other than that there are no definites. There m…