Fear and pruning in Beaujolais

Hannah continues her winemaking adventures, but as she enters the 8th week of pruning in Beaujoalis, starts to suffer from increasing doubt about whether she's made the right choice in life.

It was La Dive weekend, I was outside relishing air and talking to a friend, glass glued to hand. "It’s coming up to a year for you in France," he said, "what’s next?" when my alarm bells rang. Cue existential panic - Must I go through this again? Because I know "Back to the Loire for èbourgeonnage, my sixth stage" isn’t what people back home want to hear. They want to hear The Plan.

And there isn’t one.

At least not most days. There was a plan for one day. 12 February. The day I had the ‘click’.

As bad as pruning is for your back, it’s good for ruminating. Marinating. Teasing the meat off the steak bones of our minds. I wish I had more words than ‘click’ to express the immense swell of relief that washed over me like a cold Atlantic wave after baking bone dry for years on a beach, but I don't. Wished I could better describe the confidence of an adrenaline rush in the shape of “YES”.

On the afternoon of a sunny February 12 amidst François Saint-Lô's Cabernet Franc; his horse going back an…